Weasley Vacation
by JacquelineHyde114
Summary: Molly and Arthur dare to take their 7 kids on a nice, quiet family vacation. Nice and quiet...ha.
1. On the road

"Arthur, are you sure this is a good idea?" Molly Weasley asked her husband nervously. They were planning on taking a Muggle vacation for the very first time, and she wasn't so sure if taking her 7 children on the road was an intelligent thing to do.

"Molly, it's a great idea! I've always wanted to take a Muggle vacation! Besides, the kids are absolutely thrilled!" Arthur Weasley, unlike many wizards, was absolutely fascinated with Muggles.

"That's what I'm afraid of." Molly muttered as her youngest son Ron came bursting out of the Burrow with his younger sister Ginny in hot pursuit.

"MUM! HELP!" Ron screamed as he ran and took refuge behind his mother.

"What's going on?" Molly cried.

"RON STOLE MY BERTIES!" Ginny shrieked.

"NO I DIDN'T!"

"YES YOU DID!"

"DID NOT!"

"DID TOO!"

"DID NOT!"

Molly rubbed her head.

"Mum, you forgot my broomstick!" A new voice called.

"No I didn't Charlie." She called to her second eldest son. ("DID TOO!" "DID NOT!")

"Yeah you did. Here." He handed it to her to put with the rest of the luggage.

"We're not taking your broomstick."

"What? Yes we are! We have to!"

Molly knew prying Charlie away from his precious broomstick would be like separating a fish from the water and expecting it to survive. "Charlie, we're taking a Muggle vacation and I'm very sorry, but that means no broom."

"But I'm Quidditch Captain!" He whined.

"Oh stop whining Hot-Shot, we'll only be gone a couple of days!" Bill, the eldest Weasley brother, yelled above Ron and Ginny who were still shouting at each other.

"DID NOT!"

"DID TOO!"

"ENOUGH!" Molly shouted. "Ron, do you have Ginny's Berties?"

"No!" Little Ron told his mother.

"Ginny, do you know where you saw them last?"

Ginny sniffed. "On the table." Molly suddenly realized who the guilty party was and as if on cue, two boys snuck around to the other side of the van where they wouldn't be seen and tried to climb in through the door.

"Fred! George!" Molly called. After a moment, the door facing them slid open and two identical angelic faces appeared.

"Yes?" The twins asked sweetly.

"Where are Ginny's Berties?"

"Ron." They replied.

"Wrong." Molly told them. The twins looked at each other.

"Bill."

"Try again."

"Charlie."

"Give them to me." She held out her hand. Reluctantly, Fred reached into his back pocket and held out a bag of brightly colored jelly beans. Molly handed them to Ginny. "Here you are dear."

Ginny inspected the half-eaten bag. "Yuck. They only left the nasty ones." She turned and promptly stuck out her tongue at her twin brothers, who were smiling innocently.

Arthur, who had been standing and watching all the events of the morning, broke the silence. "Well then, are we ready to go?" He asked excitedly.

"Yes, I – wait, where's Percy?" Molly asked, referring to her 3rd eldest son.

"Uhhh…I think he was inside reading." Bill said.

"Yuck!" The twins made disgusted faces.

"Oh come on. Reading's not that bad." Charlie told them.

"That's because you've only read two books in your life." Bill remarked. "Quidditch Through the Ages and Men Who Love Dragons Too Much."

"They're good books."

"Whatever."

"I'll go get Percy." Molly said.

"Aw, can't we just leave him?" Ron asked.

"Of course not Ron! He's your brother." Arthur told him.

"But he's boring!" Ron complained. "It's always homework or school or – "

"'I'm going to be the next Minister of Magic!'" Fred and George finished Ron's sentence.

Soon they were on the road. Barely 2 minutes into their drive, Fred commented, "I'm bored."

"Me too." George agreed with his twin.

"Oh my word. You two have the shortest attention spans out of anyone I have ever met. We haven't even been driving for 5 minutes!" Percy told them, looking up from his homework.

"What was that you said Perce?" Fred asked

"Yeah, we weren't paying attention." George added.

"Nothing." Percy said through clenched teeth, well aware that the twins were making fun of him. He went back to his homework.

"Explain to me why you brought your homework along when we're supposed to be on vacation." Charlie said to his younger brother.

"You wanted to bring your broomstick." Molly reminded him, feeling the need to stick up for Percy.

"But Mum, flying is fun!" Charlie explained to her as if this was the most obvious statement in the world.

"Well maybe to Percy, homework is fun." She told him.

"What normal 12-year-old, or anyone for that matter, enjoys homework?" Charlie asked.

"You know, I can hear every world you're saying about me." Percy glared at his brother.

"That's ok. We don't mind." Fred said.

"What? What do you mean you don't mind? You're not even a part of this conversation you little twit!" Percy snapped.

"Mum!" Fred whined.

"That's enough! Out of all of you!" Molly warned her children.

"I haven't even said anything!" Ron said.

"Me neither!" Ginny piped up.

"Yeah, we're your good children Mum. It's those other ones who are the trouble makers." Bill grinned.

"That's why you're Head Boy, right Bill?" Charlie asked.

"Yep!" Bill said with a satisfied grin.

Charlie stared at him. "You know I was making fun of you, right?"

"Like you could ever be Head Boy." Bill rebutted.

"Hey, I'm a prefect."

"Yeah, well…"

"Why don't we turn on the radio?" Arthur said.

"No…" Percy groaned.

"YEAH!" Fred and George shouted.

"I think it's broken Arthur." Molly said, looking as though she sincerely wished it wasn't.

"That's ok. Fred and me can sing!" George said cutely.

"NO!" This time it was Bill, Charlie, _and_ Percy who protested.

"That's very nice Sweetie, but why don't we just talk?" Molly said, trying to save everyone's ears, but at the same time trying not to hurt her 10-year-old twins' feelings.

"Ok, about what?" George asked.

"I had a dream about a Pop-Tart last night!" Fred said, grinning with pride.

"A what?" Ginny asked.

"It's a kind of Muggle pastry. Quite tasty actually." Arthur explained.

"Ooh! I wanna try one!" Ginny said excitedly.

"Me too!" Ron declared.

"You're a very special person, aren't you Fred?" Charlie asked.

The twins turned and flashed their 15-year-old brother adorable, identical grins.

"You know, if you hadn't dropped them on their heads when they were 2, they may have turned out relatively normal." Bill said.

"Charlie dropped us!" George gasped, turning once again to face his older brothers.

"I don't remember that…" Fred said thoughtfully.

"That's my point." Bill said.

"Charlie never dropped you boys." Molly said as if the whole idea was absolutely absurd.

"Yeah, actually he did." Bill snickered.

"Charlie?" Molly turned to face her son, who was attempting to maintain an it-was-no-big-deal-they're-just-fine face.

"It didn't affect them!" He tried to defend himself. At that remark, Fred and George puffed out their cheeks, crossed their eyes, and put their hands to their cheeks and started flapping them like fish gills. Bill hooted with laughter.

"No, it didn't affect them at all." He laughed.

"Look! Cow!" Fred shouted, dropping the fish act and pointing out the window.

"Moo." George said.

"Moo." Fred echoed.

"Moo." "Moo." "Moo." "Moo."

Five minutes later

"Moo." "Moo." "Moo." "Moo."

"STOP IT!" Molly cried, exasperated. The twins shut their mouths and pulled on their best innocent faces.

"Moo." George said quietly. Molly turned and threw the twins a death glare. They hid their faces behind their hands.

"Ooh…look! A cemetery!" Ron said, fascinated.

"Let's hold our breaths!" Fred yelled. He and George took deep breaths.

"Fred dear, you have got to keep your voice down. Everyone can hear you just fine." Molly told him. Fred and George could only look at her with their big blue eyes as they were still holding their breaths. 10 seconds passed. 20 seconds. The cemetery was meters behind them. 30 seconds and the twins were starting to turn very red. George started flailing his arms about as a signal to his family that he was about to pass out. Charlie smacked the twins on the back of the heads.

"Breathe geniuses! Breathe!" He told them. Fred and George each took deep breaths, looking very relieved.

"You certainly have some brilliant children Mum." Bill commented.

"Don't I know it." Molly remarked.

"I can see stars." Fred said absent-mindedly staring at the ceiling.

"Oh Merlin…" Bill muttered.

"How much longer?" Ginny asked.

"We still have a pretty long drive ahead of us." Arthur said cheerfully.

"With us! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Fred and George laughed demonically.

"Someone stun me, please." Charlie pleaded.

"Me first." Molly told him.

"Better yet, someone stun THEM!" Bill said pointing to Fred and George who were bouncing up and down in their seats. They stopped immediately and turned to face Bill.

"But you LOVE us!" They told him.

"Yeah, like I love having staring contests with Basilisks." Bill said sarcastically. Fred and George took that as an opportunity to hiss at him. They then turned around and sat back down in their seats.

Bill shook his head and whispered, "So strange."

"Yeah, but they'll make great Beaters one day." Charlie said.

"I would not go within a ten mile radius of Fred or George with Beater clubs." Bill said.

"We'll be the greatest Beaters Gryffindor has ever seen!" Fred said enthusiastically.

"Don't you mean Syltherin?" Bill asked.

"MUM!" Fred and George whined.

"Hey, you two just hissed at me." Bill pointed out. The twins giggled evilly.

_Poke._

_Poke._

"Stop."

_Poke poke._

"Stop!"

_Poke. _

"Mum! He won't stop poking me!"

"Fred, stop poking Ron."

10 seconds later

_Poke._

"Mum!"

"Fredrick!"

"I'm bored!" Fred defended himself.

"Well, find something to do other than abuse your little brother."

Fred and George looked at each other. Then George reached over Fred and pulled Ginny's (who was sitting up front with her parents) hair.

"Ow!"

"What is it Ginny?" Molly asked.

"Someone pulled my hair."

Molly turned and gave Fred and George (whose innocent, angelic expressions fooled no one) an angry glare. "Please keep your hands to yourselves."

"Yes Mum." Fred and George sat in silence for a few minutes longer before they turned to look at their older brothers. They stared directly at Percy, who looked up from the book he was reading when he felt their eyes on him.

"May I help you?" He asked. Fred and George continued to stare at him. Percy tried to concentrate on his book again. After a few more seconds, he looked up and said, "Would you kindly not stare at me?" Fred and George stared on. "Stop staring at me!"

"Fred! George! I am going to separate the both of you if you do not behave yourselves!" Molly scolded.

Fred and George gasped at the very thought. "NO!"


	2. Fine dining

I forgot the disclaimer! I own nothing! I wish I did, but I don't.

Three hours later, the family was emerging from a rest stop. Fred and George were helping themselves to their second Snickers bar each. Ginny chewed some bubble gum. Ron took his first sip of a soft drink, but immediately spat it out all over the ground. "Blech!"

"Oh Ronnie!" Mrs. Weasley said. "We can't waste it."

"I'll take it!" Bill said. Mrs. Weasley eyed him skeptically. "All my Muggle-born friends love them and I've been dying to try one." Molly handed him the soda. He took a sip. "Not bad." He put it back to his lips and began to chug. All 8 Weasleys watched in awe as Bill chugged the entire bottle in one gulp. A stunned silence followed.

"You do know you'll never make it through the rest of the trip without you having to go to the bathroom." Percy told him.

"Yeah, I know." Bill looked rather proud of himself.

No sooner had they hit the highway when Percy announced, "I'm done with all my homework."

"Excellent Percy!" Molly beamed. "You know, it wouldn't kill the rest of you to get a head start on your homework." She aimed her last remark to her oldest sons who also attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Suddenly the bottle of soda kicked in and Bill gave an almighty belch.

Charlie, who was sitting next to Bill, stated in awe, "Woah! That was disgusting!"

"I guess we all know where Bill stands on the homework discussion." George giggled.

Molly however, looked positively appalled. "WILLIAM ARTHUR WEASLEY!"

"Excuse me." Bill said, his face as red as his hair. Everyone except Molly and Percy laughed hysterically.

"Arthur!" Molly snapped at her husband. "Don't encourage that!" That just made everyone laugh even harder. The laughter died though as the hour progressed. Ginny and Molly started playing tic-tac-toe. Percy was reading. Charlie stared intensely out the window. Ron drew Quidditch pictures. Bill was attempting to juggle three pen caps. Fred and George however, had nothing to do. Suddenly George whispered something in Fred's ear and they both burst into a fit of giggles. George rolled down the window and Fred took out a camera.

"What are you doing?" Charlie asked coming out of his doze.

"Nothing." The twins replied innocently.

"Yeah right." Bill muttered.

"George go!" Fred told his brother. George grinned mischievously, rested his elbow on the lowered window, and stuck his finger right up his nose for all lucky passer-by to see. Fred burst out laughing hysterically, which Molly ignored until she heard the camera's repeated clicks. She turned and gasped, "GEORGE WEASLEY! TAKE THAT FINGER OUT OF YOUR NOSE IMMEDIATELY!" The twins were beside themselves with laughter and the rest of the Weasley siblings (save Percy who muttered, "So immature.") were snickering uncontrollably.

"What were you taking pictures of?" Ron asked admiringly.

"People's reactions." Fred said with an evil grin. They laughed again.

"That's enough! Camera, Fredrick. Now." Molly held her hand out. Fred slowly handed over the camera.

"Fredrick." Ron giggled.

"Shut it Ronald." Fred snapped.

"Hey!" Molly scolded.

Around 5 o'clock, when Ron's stomach broke the silence that had fallen in the past few hours, the family decided it was time to eat. Arthur pulled into a Muggle restaurant called Chili's. Bill and Charlie headed for the restroom while the rest of the family followed a waiter to their seats. Fred, George, Ginny, and Ron, who had never been inside a Muggle restaurant, looked as if the Chili's was the most fascinating place on Earth. The waiter eyed them strangely. Once they were seated, the waiter asked what they would have to drink.

"BUTTERBEER!" The twins screamed. The waiter looked as if he was about to have an aneurism at the thought of two little boys ordering any sort of beer.

"Aren't they just the funniest things? Their teacher thinks they're a scream." Arthur tried to cover up for his sons.

"Dad, we don't - " They were about to say 'go to school,' but Arthur interrupted.

"I know you don't really want beer." Arthur tried to get the twins to shut up yet again. They got it this time. As the Weasleys were ordering their drinks, Bill and Charlie joined them again.

"Sorry we took so long." Bill said.

"Yeah, Muggle towel dispensers are really – " Charlie stopped mid-sentence. He had been about to say 'confusing,' but then he noticed the waiter giving him a very strange look. "Er…can I have some water please?" He tried to change the subject.

"…Sure." The waiter said, eyeing the entire family strangely. Drinks and appetizers were brought to the table, which gave Fred and George another idea. They took their chips and salsa and started adding sugar, salt, and pepper to them. Bill looked at them.

"You two are so weird." Then he took the lemon from his drink and squeezed it into their concoction. Charlie added some hot sauce, Fred threw in a bit of his chocolate shake, Bill contributed a few drops of coke, and George happily topped it with ketchup.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? No! No! Look at this mess!" Molly, who had just happened to glance their way, cried. Her 4 sons turned their big blue eyes on their mother. Each face held a you-wouldn't-hurt-your-baby-would-you? expression. "Fred and George I can almost understand behaving this immaturely, but you two? You're supposed to be older and more responsible."

"Yeah Bill. Shame on you." Charlie turned to his older brother.

"What? She said us TWO, as in BOTH of us. You AND me."

"Well yeah, but you're older than me. Therefore you are responsible for my actions."

"Whatever."


	3. Hotel tales

After an action-packed Muggle dinner complete with Ron choking and a mozzarella stick and total confusion trying to figure out how to pay the bill, the Weasleys got back into the car and set off once again. An hour passed, and they began to look for the hotel where they would be staying. They soon found it and as soon as they were inside, all the poor guests who were looking forward to a relaxing vacation felt their dreams rush out the door as the 7 red-haired children stepped inside. Their room was on the 6th floor. They were given their room numbers and card-keys, and Arthur was looking forward to finding out how they worked.

"Let's take the stairs!" Fred yelled and he and George made a break for the stairwell.

"No! Stop! Freeze!" Molly called. Fred and George halted. "You two have GOT to learn to control yourselves."

"Besides, we're taking the vele-ator!" Arthur said excitedly.

"The what?" Ginny asked.

"It's a Muggle contraption that transports people from one floor to the other." He explained.

"Like Floo Powder?" Ron asked.

"Yes, sort of, but not as quickly." Arthur said. "Ah, here we are." He punched the button to the elevator. It soon arrived and the 9 Weasleys piled into the elevator.

"Wow, it's a good thing none of us are claustrophobic." Charlie remarked as Fred and George spotted the variety of buttons and before anyone could stop them, they had punched every single one. The elevator door, therefore, stopped and opened on every floor between the ground and 6. Around floor 3, the Weasleys began to get suspicious as they were unaware of what Fred and George had done.

"Is it supposed to stop at every floor Father?" Percy asked.

"I don't think so…" Arthur said. "I think it's supposed to go to whatever button was pushed."

"It's almost as if every button was pushed." Bill said. Something clicked as Molly noticed the twins giggling to themselves.

"And I think they were." She said eyeing the twins who smiled innocently. Once they finally reached the 6th floor, they all exited the elevator and searched for their rooms.

"It's so quiet." George whispered. "HEY EVERYBODY!" He yelled down the hall.

"George!" Molly clasped her hand over George's mouth. "Do _not_ yell! People are trying to sleep! You have got to be quiet!" She hissed.

"Sorry." George whispered. They soon located their rooms. Now the next task was figuring out how to work the card-keys. Arthur stuck one through the crack in the door. Nothing happened.

"Maybe you have to say something, like _alohomora_." Bill suggested. Arthur tried that. Nothing happened. After 10 minutes of attempt after attempt, Molly finally thrust the card out of her husband's hand and stuck in the right place and _voila_! The door was open.

"This is yet another fine example of how men are absolutely, 100 helpless." Molly told Ginny.

"Excuse me?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, you're kind of out numbered Mum." Bill said. The rooms were actually quite spacious, complete with a couch and balcony. There was a door connecting the two rooms so if someone wanted to switch rooms, it would be no big deal. "I call a couch!" Bill shouted.

"I call the other!" Charlie stated.

"Ok, who wants to be with whom?" Molly asked.

"Mummy." Ginny said.

"Daddy." Ron said.

"George!"/"Fred!" Fred and George exclaimed together.

"I don't care." Percy said.

"I just don't wanna have to share a bed with anyone." Bill said.

"Same here." Charlie agreed. It was finally decided that Molly, Ginny, Fred, George, and Charlie would room together while Arthur, Ron, Bill, and Percy would take the other room. Arthur and Molly started to separate and unpack the luggage so the kids did their different things. Bill and Charlie sat on a bed and played chess, Percy had his nose buried in another book, and Ginny was fascinated by the Muggle television. Fred and George, as usual, were looking for opportunities to themselves in trouble. They were wandering aimlessly around until they found themselves in the bathroom. They stopped and stared, mouths agape at the thing beside the toilet.

"What is it?" Fred gasped.

"I don't know…" George said dreamily. "It's so beautiful…"

"What does it do?" Fred wondered.

"Let's find out!" George said as he walked over and turned the knob. A fountain of water spurted up. The twins were mesmerized. Fred smiled.

"We could have some fun with this." The twins exchanged glances before they emerged from the bathroom with evil grins on their faces.

"Hey Ron! Come here!" George summoned his little brother. Innocent little Ron eyed him suspiciously, but stood up and trustingly walked over to the bathroom.

"Look what we found!" Fred pointed to the thing beside the toilet. .

"What is it?" Ron asked.

"A water fountain!" Fred and George told him. They turned the knob and water spurted up. Ron raised an eyebrow at them.

"That's nice." He said and turned to leave.

"Don't you want to drink?" Fred asked.

"Not really." Ron responded.

"Oh come on! It's really good." George told him.

"Yeah, it is, and you look really thirsty!" Fred said

Ron looked at it again. "Are you sure it's ok to drink out of this?"

"Yeah!" The twins said.

"Ok…" Ron said hesitantly. He took a small sip of the "fountain." Fred and George laughed so hard that Fred had tears coming out of his eyes and George was rolling around on the floor. He proceeded to hit his head on the bathroom door which brought Molly running.

"George! Are you ok - RON!" Molly forgot all about George and stood eyes wide, mouth hanging open at her youngest son who still had his lips to the water. Ron jumped and looked at his mother. "What are you doing?" Molly asked shrilly.

"Ummm…drinking." Ron said softly. He knew right then that he shouldn't have listened to Fred and George.

"NO! NO! NO! We do NOT drink out of this!" Molly still seemed to be in a state of shock. She turned on the twins. "How DARE you tell him to drink out of that?"

"We never _told_ him to drink out of it." Fred said with an evil grin.

"Yeah, we just strongly implied it." George added.

"Well, I will strongly imply this to you. Once we get back to the Burrow, you two are grounded until I forget about this." Fred and George gulped. That would be a long time. As they walked back into the room, Bill called without looking up from the game, "What did Fred and George do this time?"

"They told Ron to drink out of that thing beside the toilet."

"Are you serious?" Bill asked, he and Charlie both looking up. Molly nodded.

"And he did it?" Charlie asked. Molly nodded again. Bill and Charlie started cracking up.

"It's not funny!" Molly scolded.

"No, it's hysterical!" Bill managed in between laughs. Ron's ears turned bright red and he sniffled.

"Oh Ronnie sweetie, it's ok." Molly said soothingly.

"Yeah Ron, we're not laughing at you." Charlie said, not wanting to hurt his youngest brother's feelings.

"Come on Ron. You can come hang out with us. We were just about to go out to the balcony." Bill added.

"Ok." Ron said, looking much happier. Bill and Charlie hadn't invited Fred and George to come out to the balcony so he felt vastly superior. Outside, there was a pleasant breeze blowing. They could see countless stars and could smell the ocean. "Wow, it's really pretty." Ron said.

"Yeah." Bill agreed. "I bet there are some fine looking girls around here."

"Too bad they'll all be Muggles." Ron said.

"It doesn't matter if they're Muggles Ron." Bill said.

"Yeah, but you couldn't survive living like a Muggle if your life depended on it." Ron remarked.

"True." Bill said. "Why are you so quiet Charlie?" His brother had a far-away look in his eyes.

"Oh, I was just thinking about how fun it would be to go soaring off this balcony on my broom."

"Again with the broom. That's all I've heard all day from you, that stupid broom!" Bill said, exasperated.

"Don't you insult my broom!"

"Why not?"

"Because I could beat you up." Charlie told him.

"No you couldn't." Bill said though he was sure that he could. Charlie may have been shorter and younger than him, but after 3 years of being Seeker of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, he was pretty buff. Bill, who had never played a sport in his life, was on the skinnier, lanky side. His thin arms and legs would be no match for Charlie's muscular limbs.

"I could too and you know it."

"Well I could beat both of you up." Little Ron said.

"Yeah, you probably could, since neither one of us are allowed to hit you back." Bill said. Since they were so much older and bigger than Ron, if they hit him hard, they could actually hurt him.

"If we're not allowed to beat Ron up, how come you're allowed to beat me up?" Charlie asked Bill.

"Well for one thing, none of are allowed to beat anyone up. For another thing, you are only two years younger than me so that really doesn't count. For another thing, you're bigger than me so I really couldn't do that much damage to you anyway." Bill said.

"You're taller than me." Charlie pointed out.

"Really? Because you know, I couldn't tell." Bill looked down at him and laughed.

"Shut up." Charlie laughed. "Tonight would be a great night for flying."

"You want to go flying? Just mention that broomstick one more time and I'll toss you off the balcony. Then you'll be flying." Bill said.

"If there was a pool right below us, I'd actually take you up on that offer." Charlie said.

"Ooh! I want to go swimming!" Ron said.

"We'll go swimming at the beach tomorrow." Bill said.

"Speaking of tomorrow," Charlie paused to yawn. "I think we should probably head in so tomorrow can actually come. I'm tired."

"Yeah me too." Bill agreed. "I better go warn Mum that you'll probably be talking about broomsticks in your sleep tonight."

"You do that." Charlie said.

"Well, who was it who told me that you once screamed out 'there it is!' in the middle of the night and then crashed out of bed?" Bill asked. "Jeffrey?"

"Oh yeah. That was fun." Charlie grinned.

"Oh I'm sure it was." Bill said. Ron giggled. They opened the door and headed inside to find total chaos. Fred and George were running excitedly around the room, Ginny was bouncing on the bed, and Percy looked like he was ready to kill. Molly and Arthur apparently had left him in charge of his younger siblings while they took refuge in the next room. "What on earth?" Bill asked, startled as Fred and George ran straight into the bed and lay there, faces down, laughing.

"Oh Merlin…" Charlie rubbed his head. "It is going to be a long night." He looked at Bill and smiled. "Hey Bill, you know you're my favorite brother."

"No, Charlie, I am not switching rooms with you."

"I hate you."

It took the Weasley family almost an hour to get all their pajamas sorted, to get the nighttime-bathers in and out of the shower, to brush all nine sets of teeth, and then of course to say good night to every last person. At long last, they separated into their two rooms and shut the door that connected them. Everyone dropped off to sleep almost instantly. Unfortunately, not everyone stayed asleep the entire night, at least in Molly's room. Her first startle came around 1 in the morning when she awoke to a dark figure creeping about in the shadows of the room. Molly gasped. The thing whispered, "Mum! It's ok! It's only me!"

"Charlie!" She hissed back at him. "What are you doing?"

"Getting a drink of water." He replied. He headed back to his couch. About 30 minutes later, Molly was awoken again, this time by Ginny.

"Mummy, I have to go to the bathroom." She whispered. Molly groaned as she and Ginny got out of bed, trying not to wake anyone. Molly was practically blinded by the bathroom light after being in the dark for so long. Before she got back into bed, Molly went to readjust the air conditioner. She was freezing, and judging by the way Charlie was cocooned in his blankets, he was too. On her way back to bed, one of the twins sat right up, clearly said the word, "Pop!" and muttering, fell back onto his pillow, fast asleep. Molly, too tired to think much about what was going on in her son's head, crawled into her bed, looking forward to sleeping for the rest of the night. But around 2:45, after being poked repeatedly, she opened her eyes to see two identically shaped figures standing beside her. "What?" she moaned, sounding on the verge of tears.

"Charlie's snoring." Fred or George whispered. Molly listened and sure enough, she heard snores coming from her older son's direction.

"Well, just try and go back to sleep." She whispered, though she almost felt herself as though that were impossible.

"We've been trying."

"For the past 20 minutes."

"Well then go wake him up or something." Molly said without quite realizing what she was saying as she was already almost back asleep. The twins tip-toed over to their older brother's couch and started poking him repeatedly. Finally, after being punched in the arm, Charlie groaned.

"What?" He snapped.

"You were snoring." George said matter-of-factly. Charlie eyed them angrily.

"Well excuse me for breathing." He said sarcastically.

"You're excused."

"Good night." The twins went back to bed. Grumbling, Charlie pulled the covers over his head and fell back asleep, only to be awoken about 10 minutes later by Fred and George with the same complaint.

"Go back to bed and leave me alone!" Charlie growled.

"Not a morning person, are we?" Fred asked adorably.

"It's not morning! It's not even close to morning! It's the dead of night!" Charlie hissed.

"Well technically it is morning." George pointed out.

Charlie cried out in exasperation. "Will you please just go back to bed and let me sleep?"

"Only if you don't breathe." Fred told him.

"Yeah, because I can survive without breathing."

"Well, you seem to be surviving without your broomstick. And you always said that you giving up flying would be like giving up breathing." George said. Charlie glared at him.

"Good night!' The twins said and hurried off back to bed.

Morning came too early for Molly's taste. The Muggle phone beside her bed began ringing as a wake-up call at 8:30. At the sound, Ginny shrieked and fell out of bed with a thud. The scream woke the rest of the room and brought Bill into their room. "Is everyone ok?" He asked. "We heard a scream."

"It was Ginny." Molly said, sounding as though she had a horrible headache. "The fellytone or whatever that thing is scared her."

"Oh. We thought You-Know-Who had just popped out from under the bed or something." Bill said.

"He might as well have for all the sleep I got last night." Molly complained.

"Good morning dear!" Arthur said cheerfully. Molly glared at him. "Rough night?"

"You could say that." Molly told him.

"Why?" Ron emerged from the next room rubbing his eyes, his hair all over the place.

"Charlie kept snoring." Fred said.

"Yeah, so did Dad and Bill. Percy just made all these weird noises. I think I heard him quack. And then he started making these strange clicking noises." Ron said. Fred and George started cracking up. Then they started quacking and making clicking noises.

"Well, shall we all head down to breakfast?" Arthur asked anxiously.

"In our pajamas Dad?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure the young ladies will love seeing me in my boxers." Bill said with a smirk.

"No, of course we'll change first! I just really want to see how Muggles dine when they're not at home."

"I'm sure they dine just the same as us wizards Dad." Bill said.

"And besides, it's only breakfast." George said.

"Well, still, let's get changed and fed so we can head down to the beach!" Arthur said. That got everyone to hurry.

The Weasley children were nothing short of impressed at the breakfast buffet the hotel supplied. "This is almost as good as breakfast at Hogwarts!" Charlie said, helping himself to a large plate of bacon and eggs.

"Yeah, but I don't thing anyone can top the house-elves." Bill said, his plate containing two pieces of French toast and an equally large helping of bacon. Fred and George were having fun trying every kind of Muggle cereal there was (especially the ones containing superfluous amounts of sugar). Then they had some bacon. In fact, every male member of the Weasley family had at least one piece of bacon with breakfast. As Bill and Charlie headed back for more bacon, Ginny asked, "Why does every guy love bacon so much?"

"You know, I've asked that question at least 10 times in my life, and have never gotten a proper answer." Molly told her. "I'll never understand it. And I've never met a guy who doesn't like bacon."

"Boys are so weird." Ginny said.

"That's why I'm so thankful you came along Sweetie." Molly told her.


	4. Get crabby!

Less than an hour after their bacon-filled-breakfast, the Weasleys were on their way to the beach. After a wrong turn, the arrived at the beach around 10. All the kids were itching to get out of the car.

"I want to go swimming!" Ron said excitedly.

"Daddy, will you help me build a sandcastle?" Ginny asked sweetly.

"Hey Fred! Let's go find a crab!"

"Yeah! And then we can stick it down someone's shorts!"

"You will do no such thing!" Molly warned the twins. Fred and George however, merely exchanged glances that said, _Of course we won't_. They giggled evilly.

"Let's go surfing!" Charlie said.

"I'm in!" Bill agreed.

"I think I'll just sit in the shade and read." Percy said.

"What?" Ron gasped.

"You're crazy." George told him.

"Who goes to the beach to read?" Fred asked.

"That's enough now children. If Percy wants to read then he can. He's not stopping the rest of you from doing the things you want to do." Arthur said.

"No, that's Mum's job." Fred whispered to George.

"Daddy! I want to build a sandcastle!" Ginny said again.

"We will Ginny, don't worry. There's plenty of sand to go around."

"Come on! I really really really want to go swimming!" Ron pleaded.

"Ok, I think we need to plan this. We can all do our separate things as long as we're all back for lunch around, what do you think Molly? 1?"

"That sounds good." She replied.

"Ok, I'll stay with Ginny and we'll build a sandcastle. Molly, you stay with Ron. I think Bill, Charlie, and Percy can look after themselves. That only leaves…" Arthur stopped and he and Molly turned to look at the twins, whose adorable faces were molded into innocent, cherubic smiles.

"Oh no, you 2 are NOT going off on your own! Oh no…oh no…Don't even THINK about it." Molly said.

"You don't trust us dearest Mother?" George asked with sad eyes.

"Can't you put a little faith in your innocent beloved children?" Fred asked.

"All but 2 of them." Molly told them.

"Oh, Ron and Ginny won't do anything-"

"I wasn't talking about Ron and Ginny." She told them. She looked up at Bill and Charlie. "I hate to ask this of you 2, but-"

"NO!" They both cried at once.

"Please?" She asked.

"Mum, you can't DO that to us!" Bill insisted.

"What did we do to deserve that kind of punishment?" Charlie asked.

"You'll only have to watch them for a few hours." Molly told them.

"There's 2 Galleons in it for each of you." Arthur said. Bill and Charlie considered this.

"Throw in 5 Sickles each and you got a deal." Bill said.

"Done." Arthur said.

"Daddy, NOW can we build a sandcastle? PLEASE?" Ginny begged.

"Yes, sweetie, let's go." He told her.

"Yay! I get to go swimming!" Ron exclaimed. They all piled out of the car. Ron bolted for the water and Molly panted to keep up with him. Ginny practically dragged Arthur off to the perfect place she had spotted for a sandcastle. Percy set up a large umbrella, placed a towel underneath, and sat down underneath it and began to read The Standard Book of Spells: Grade 2.

"You better not let any Muggles see that." Charlie warned him.

"Don't worry." Percy said without looking up.

"Why didn't Mum leave him in charge of the twins?" Bill wondered as they strolled away from Percy. "It's not like he actually has any fun plans for the day."

"You two are funner." Fred said.

"Aww thanks, but that doesn't make me any happier about watching you." Bill said.

They strolled a bit farther and found themselves walking along the water's edge.

"Hey, do you guys wanna go surfing?" Charlie asked the twins.

"No, not really." George replied.

"Please?"

"No, it's ok." Fred told him.

"Well, what do you two wanna do?" Charlie asked.

"That's a brave question." Bill told him.

"We just want to walk along the beach." George said.

"Yeah, and look for a crab to stick down someone's shorts." Bill said.

"We promise we won't stick it down _your_ shorts if you let us go." Fred negotiated.

"No, Mum told us to watch you." Charlie said.

"You guys could go surfing." George pointed out.

"A small price to pay for Mum's rage when she discovers we let you two go off on your own." Bill said.

"Oh come on. You know you want to get rid of us." Fred said.

"Yeah, and not to mention I just saw a group of really cute girls head into that surf-board rental place. And you know how completely embarrassing it would be for you to have us hanging around." George pointed to the Surf Shack. Bill and Charlie looked at each other.

"Do you promise, no, swear on each other's lives that you won't go and get yourselves lost?" Bill looked back at them.

"Yes." They both said.

"And that you won't go trying to get into trouble?" Bill said.

"We won't _try_." Fred said.

"Yeah, it usually just kind of happens." George added.

"Whatever. Just don't get lost, kidnapped, or injured in any way. Don't go off with any strangers. Keep where you can still see us." Bill continued.

"Jeez! You worry too much!" Fred said.

"Yeah, we're 10! Not 4." George told him.

"Well whatever you do, you will not speak one word to Mum about this. _Not one_." Charlie told them.

"Not a word." George promised.

"You don't want to keep those lovely ladies waiting do you?" Fred asked. Bill and Charlie made them promise one more time to be careful before heading up to the Shack.

"Finally! I thought they would never leave!" George said.

"Yeah, the way they act you'd think they didn't trust us." Fred told him.

"So, you wanna go look for that crab?"

"You read my mind dear brother."

An hour later, Fred and George had found quite a few crabs, but had not yet managed to catch one, as both were fearful that they would get pinched. They had, however, managed to wander far from where they had begun searching.

"Do you think we should try and find out way back?" George asked.

"Maybe, but we're on a beach. How hard can it be to find our way back? All we have to do is follow the water, right?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right. CRAB!" George yelled and pointed to a large crab scuttling along the sand. All thoughts of being lost forgotten, Fred and George rushed after the crab.

Bill surfaced from his fifteenth wipeout and looked up at Charlie. "You know, I don't think surfing is really my thing." He said. Charlie, who had only suffered 2 wipeouts at the beginning laughed.

"Do you wanna head back to shore?" He asked.

"I guess so. Maybe we can help Fred and George look for a crab."

"And then what would we do with it?"

"Stick it down one of their shorts." Bill laughed. Charlie grinned and turned his blue eyes to where they had told the twins to stay.

"Oh no." He gasped. "Bill! Fred and George are gone!"

"What?" Bill yelled. "Are you sure? Maybe you're just not seeing them." After scanning the beach countless times, Bill groaned. "Oh I knew this was a bad idea! We should never have trusted them to take care of themselves!"

Charlie had gone pale beneath his freckles. "Mum is going to kill us." He said with a scared tone.

"No! No, we just have to stay calm. We're going to go back to shore as quickly as possible and see if we can find any sign of them. I mean, it's only a beach! How far could they have gone?"

"Knowing Fred and George, they could be halfway to Saturn by now."

"You can't hide from us crab! We shall get you!" George yelled.

"And then we shall stick you down Percy's pants!" Fred added.

"Now where did you go?" George looked around for the crab.

"There!" Fred pointed. There was a new crab resting under a rock. They snuck up behind the crab slowly and silently. "Don't worry little guy, we're not gonna hurt you." Fred whispered.

"That's it Fred. Be one with the crab." George said quietly.

"One with the crab." Fred repeated softly.

"THERE YOU ARE!" Bill shouted from behind them. The crab scuttled off.

"Aww Bill, you made us lose our crab." George complained.

"That crab's not the only thing you two are going to have lost when we get through with you!" Charlie scolded loudly. Fred and George gulped. They had never known their two older brothers to be angry. Frustrated yes, but never boiling mad.

"I THOUGHT WE TOLD YOU TO STAY WHERE WE COULD SEE YOU!" Bill yelled. "You could have been kidnapped, you could have drowned, you could have been eaten…"

"Eaten?" Fred asked.

"Yes! Eaten!"

"By what?" George asked curiously.

"I don't know…Something that eats stupid little boys that go wandering off on their own when they PROMISED to stay where they were!" Bill growled.

"How could you two go off so far without even thinking of turning back when you realized you were lost?" Charlie asked.

"We DID think about it." Fred said.

"But then we saw this really big crab and-"

"Enough with the stupid crabs! I don't want to hear about the crabs! No crabs!" Bill cried.

"I think I see a big one with red hair standing right in front of me." Fred remarked.

"Fine! Fine! Call me a crab for worrying about you!" Bill said, exasperated. Fred and George looked up at him.

"You DO love us!" They cried. The both grabbed him and squeezed him around the waist.

"You just remember that after I've strangled you." He told them.

"Look on the positive side. At least you got to go surfing." George pointed out.

"And with all those girls!" Fred said.

"Yeah, about those girls…" Charlie began.

"You neglected to tell us that they were all hygienically challenged." Bill said.

"Nor did you tell us that they all happened to be _5 years old_!" Charlie added.

"Are you sure? They looked at least 7 to me." George said. Bill and Charlie glared at him.

"We are heading back to out part of the beach _now_." Bill said.

"You're not gonna tell Mum are you?" George asked, looking nervous.

"Are you kidding? If she ever found out we let you two get lost…" Bill started.

"We might as well write up our eulogies now." Charlie concluded.

"Yeah, so that means not a word from you two either." Bill said.

"Nope. Not a word." Fred pretended to zip up his mouth.

"Too bad we never got our-" George started to say.

"CRAB!" Fred dove. The poor little crab made an attempt to get out of his way, but to no avail. Fred held up the crab victoriously.

"So Ron, did you have fun in the water?" Arthur asked as the family congregated for lunch.

"Yeah! Except for I swallowed a bunch of water and it was all salty…then a big wave came in and I got water up my nose…then this really fat kid with blond hair pushed me under and his mum accused me of being in his way…it was kinda funny, she called him Diddikins…"

"Are you alright Molly dear?" Arthur looked at his wife.

"Yes, but next time you get to go in the water." She said, trying to dry her hair. "Ginny, did you get to build your sandcastle?"

"Yep! It was really cool! But then Daddy said that everyone would be running all over it, so I jumped on it! He got a picture of it though."

"Well that's good. I wonder where the rest of the family-" Before the question escaped her mouth, she heard a yelp and turned to see Percy dancing their way, trying desperately to get something out of his pants. He was followed by Fred and George who were positively howling with laughter. Bill and Charlie came running up after them, both yelling, "We had absolutely NOTHING to do with that!"

"Weren't you 2 supposed to be watching them?" Arthur asked them.

"Well yeah…and we were but…" Charlie started.

"They're Fred and George! They're unstoppable!" Bill said.

"They're crazy!"

"They're-"

"That's enough!" Molly said.

"Mum! Help! Get it out!" Percy cried desperately. Fred and George were laughing so hard that they couldn't catch their breaths. Ron and Ginny started to giggle, then they too were laughing uncontrollably.

"Dance Percy, dance!" Fred and George gasped between laughs.

"Oh, you wait until I get my hands on you two!" Molly snarled. "Percy dear, please stand still…I…oh it's no use. Arthur, take him to the men's room and see if you can get that thing out." As Arthur and Percy headed off to the restroom, Molly rounded on the twins, "As for you two…" she growled, "You're already grounded from that bathroom charade, you seem to enjoy time-outs, and yelling has absolutely no effect on you. So what do I do?"

"You could take your anger out on a beach ball." Fred said brightly. Molly glared at him. "Just a thought." He shrugged. Molly thought for a moment. She had a feeling that Bill and Charlie hadn't had been watching the twins as carefully as they should have. She contemplated this thought further and smiled.

"I have another idea. Why don't we let Bill and Charlie decide your punishment? They were the ones watching you after all." She looked at her oldest sons, knowing that neither had the heart to punish their younger siblings if they didn't deserve it. Sure enough, Bill and Charlie cast nervous glances at each other.

"Well, you know, they're just kids; they were just having some fun…" Charlie said.

"Yeah, and when you think about it, it is kinda funny…" Bill chuckled. Molly glared daggers at him. "Or not…"

"Uh-huh." Molly eyed them. "So, what do you think they're punishments should be?"

"Er…I think we can let this one go, right Charlie?"

"Yeah, I mean, no one was seriously hurt or anything…"

"You two weren't watching them as well as you should have. If you were, you would feel no guilt whatsoever in punishing them." Molly said as they exchanged guilty glances. "No money."

"What?"

"Mum that's not fair!"

"It is not up to you to tell me what is and is not fair William." Molly scolded. "Just imagine, if they can cause this much damage under your watch, what would have happened if they had gone off by themselves?" Bill and Charlie gulped and Fred and George looked innocently up at their older brothers.

"Bill and Charlie would never let us do something like that!" Fred said.

"Yeah! They would have killed us!" George added.

"I know they wouldn't let you two wander off, I'm jus trying to make a point." Molly said as Percy and Arthur returned from the bathroom. "Well, shall we get something to eat?"

As the rest of the family headed off to find a place to eat, Bill and Charlie smiled at Fred and George who grinned adorably back.

After lunch, Mr. Weasley said, "So, what shall we do now? Do we want to head back to the beach? Or I heard that there is some sort of fair going on right now, and of course Muggle gift shops are always fascinating…"

"Let's go to the Fair!" Ron said enthusiastically.

"Yeah!" Ginny smiled.

"Is that ok with the rest of the family?" Arthur asked hopefully. Everyone else agreed.

"What's at the fair?" George asked.

"Oh all sorts of things! Rides and candy and game booths, you kids will have a blast!" Arthur said excitedly.

"One thing, if anyone even has the slightest feeling that they might get sick or something, don't come near me." Charlie said.

"What's the matter? The all mighty Quidditch Captain can't handle a little half-way digested-"

"Thank you Bill!" Molly sharply cut him off.

"They don't have clowns here, do they?" Ginny asked.

"I don't think so. I believe you're thinking of a circus." Arthur replied.

"Good. Because clowns are scary and they have big razor sharp teeth and they hide inside your socks!" She exaggerated.

"Who told you that?" Arthur asked, chuckling a little.

"Fred and George." She replied.

"So that's why you went through that phase when you were scared to wear socks!" Ron gasped in understanding.

"Why would you tell you sister that?" Molly asked the twins.

"Because that's what Percy told us!" Fred told her.

"Percy?" Molly asked Fred, looking genuinely confused.

"Yep. Percy." George said.

"What?" Percy asked, looking up from his book.

"Did you tell Fred and George that evil clowns lived in their socks?" Molly asked.

"Yes." Percy replied.

"Why?"

"Because they wouldn't stop pestering me. So I decided to tell them that if they didn't behave like good little boys, the evil clowns that live in their socks would come out and take them away in their sleep."

"Perce, I didn't know you were evil." Bill said. Percy stared at him over the top of his book, then went back to reading.

"So Mummy, there aren't any clowns living in my socks?"

"Of course not Sweetie." Molly assured her.

"Whew!" Ginny breathed a sigh of relief.


	5. Fair and food

"Sugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugar!"

"I can't believe Mum and Dad went off and left them with us…again!" Bill griped as he struggled to hold on to the back of George's shirt.

"I can. It's punishment for not looking after them the first time." Charlie managed to say as he held a wriggling Fred.

"Sugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugar!"

"That's what I can't understand. If we proved ourselves to be bad baby-sitters the first time, what makes them think we should be any more responsible this time?"

"Sugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugar!"

"Yeah, I see what you mean." Charlie replied, putting Fred on the ground and grabbing a hold of the back of his shirt.

"Maybe there's a place where we can get a couple of leashes around here." Bill commented.

"Sugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugar!"

"Do you two actually think that Bill and I are stupid enough to let you have any more sugar than you've already had?" Charlie asked the chanting twins.

"Argh! I told you that it was bad idea to let them try that silky candy." Bill cried accusingly at Charlie.

"Cotton."

"Whatever. It was a bad idea."

"Well excuse me, Mr. Let's-go-and-get-the-twins-hooked-on-Coca-Cola!"

"Hey, I didn't think they would actually like it."

"Then why did you let them try it?"

"They asked me!"

"Then you should have said, 'no, I don't think you'll like it.'"

"Well you know what Charlie? I'm so sorry that I'm not as smart as you." Bill said sarcastically.

"Sugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugarsugar!"

"Be QUIET! FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!" Bill screamed at the twins, turning quite a few heads. Fred and George shut their mouths immediately and, along with everyone else, stared up with shocked expressions at Bill. "Er…I mean…er…Oh look! A fun house!" The four redheads made their way to the nearest fun house

"Well done."

"Shut up Charlie."

"WOW! THIS IS SO COOL!" Fred yelled.

"George, can you maybe not scream?" Bill asked.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not George."

"Whatever! I don't care who you are! Just don't scream!"

"OK BILL!" Both Fred and George hollered.

"You know what? I give up. That's it. I give up." Bill said hopelessly to Charlie as Fred and George scampered off to see the House of Mirrors.

"Maybe Muggle sugar wears off after a while and they'll lose their energy." Bill stared blankly at his younger brother.

"It must be nice to live in your world Charlie. This is Fred and George we're talking about. They aren't like other children. They were born hyper. They will die hyper. It's just one of those things that no one can change. Just like brooms were made for flying, Fred and George were made to be hyper."

"Aw…I miss my broom."

"Oh no! No no no! I did not just say that!" Bill said, exasperated. He grabbed Charlie's shoulders and directed him toward the House of Mirrors. "We are going to go into the House of Mirrors. And we are going to have fun. And after we get out of the House of Mirrors, I am signing you up for broom-a-holics anonymous."

"Thanks, glad to know you care about me so much."

"Not a problem, little bro. All for the love and mental stability of my family."

"Haha." Charlie said dryly as he and Bill walked into the House of Mirrors. "Woah!"

"Now this is cool." Bill said, impressed.

"Hey Bill look! I'm finally taller than you!"

"And skinnier! Enjoy it, because it won't last."

"Shut up."

"Hey, you have no idea how embarrassing it is to be called a weakling when compared to my _little_ brother."

"BOO!" Fred and George jumped out of nowhere at their older brothers.

"ARGHHHH!" Fred and George burst into laughter at the looks on Bill and Charlie's faces.

"You two look you did when you found those garden gnomes running around the house in your knickers!" George was practically crying from laughter.

"Ok, do we have to mention that _in public_?" Bill hissed.

"And that only happened because _you two_ let them in the house in the first place." Charlie said.

"No, Mum said we could and maybe it would teach you two a lesson about cleaning your room." Fred grinned with satisfaction.

"This coming from the inhabitants of the messiest room in the house means absolutely nothing to me." Bill told Fred.

"And besides, our room is clean now." Charlie said.

"Only because all of your junk goes to Hogwarts with you." George said. "Look at this! We're not identical anymore!"

"NO!" Fred cried.

"You know, as much as I love talking about school and messy rooms on what is supposed to be our _vacation_, I think it's time to do something fun." Bill said.

"What do you mean? This is fun." Fred said.

"Er…no. Let's go on a ride. Come on." Bill ushered his brothers to the exit.

"Woah! Look! Mission to Mars!" Fred yelled enthusiastically.

"Let's go on that one!" George shouted before he and Fred broke into a run, making a beeline for the ride called Mission to Mars.

"I guess we're going to Mars." Bill told Charlie.

"Guess so."

Fred and George were already in line when Bill and Charlie caught up to them. Fortunately, they were the last people in line.

"We go first!" Fred and George told them as one.

"What do you think Bill? Should we trust them to go by themselves?" There were only two people allowed per car.

"Unless you really want to ride with one of them, which I can pretty much guarantee you I don't." Bill replied. Charlie looked at Fred and George, both of whose faces bore identical evil grins.

"Er…no…no, I think I'll be perfectly content riding with you."

"Don't blame you." Bill remarked as Fred and George hopped into a car and vanished.

Fred and George enjoyed the small ups and downs of the ride as they plunged into complete blackness. They soon came to a room with light up aliens in every corner. Fred yawned. A giant, demon-like alien glowed in the corner.

"Ooh…that was scary." George commented without enthusiasm. Fred was about to respond when a voice from right beside them said, "That wasn't scary."

"AGH!"

"This is…really boring." Charlie droned.

"Yeah…not really worth 5 tickets." Bill agreed.

"Maybe Fred and George are-"

"AGH!"

"Merlin! What was that?" Bill gasped.

"Oh, please say it wasn't one of the twins." Charlie murmured.

"I don't think they're really the type to get scared on this type of ride." Bill said thoughtfully.

The ride came to a close and Bill and Charlie emerged to find Fred and George standing white and shaking.

"What in the world happened to you?" Bill asked.

"We – we – we were almost abducted by aliens!" Fred gasped, absolutely serious.

"No really…what happened?" Charlie asked. Both Fred and George began to talk at once.

"One at a time! George, go." Bill said.

Ok. We were riding and we passed a lot of aliens that weren't scary and then we passed one that actually was scary so I said, "Ooh that was scary-""

"And then this voice said from right beside us, "That wasn't scary."" Fred added.

"Then one of us screamed…I don't remember who…I don't think it was me…"

"I don't remember hearing a scream! I don't remember screaming! I don't remember anything! I've just had ten years taken off my life!"

"We couldn't see anything! The voice came out of nowhere!"

"I only remember thinking one thing and that was that we were going to die!"

"You guys know it was probably just a ride attendant." Bill said.

"Well, duh Bill. We figured that out." George said.

"But it was still the scariest thing to ever happen to us! Ever!" Fred told him.

They soon found their way to a large ride complete with flips. "Ok, anyone too scared to ride this?"

"No way!" Fred and George yelled and in a flash were in line.

"Bill! Charlie!" They turned to see their parents heading toward them with the remainder of the Weasley siblings. "Oh, I'm glad we found you." Molly said.

"Ginny and Ron are positively itching to go on a ride and as much as I would love to experience a true Muggle fair experience, I don't think either your mother or I feel up to it. Could you take them?" Arthur asked.

"Sure, no problem." Bill replied. As they headed off, Charlie turned.

"Hey Perce, you wanna join us?"

"I believe I will pass on this one." Percy replied, looking as if the very idea was absolutely absurd.

Charlie shrugged. "Suit yourself."

"So, where do you kids want to sit?" Bill asked his younger siblings once they had caught up to Fred and George.

"The front!" Fred and George screamed.

"Yeah!" Ron agreed enthusiastically.

"Ginny, is that going to be too scary for you?" Bill asked.

"Please." She looked at Bill as though she were 17 instead of 7.

"Ok then." Bill said, a little taken aback.

"I think she's terrified Bill." Charlie said. "You may have to hold her hand."

After riding nearly every ride that the fair had to offer, it was time to call it a day and the Weasleys piled into the car once again to find a place to eat dinner. They soon came across a small restaurant.

"Mmm, it smells good in here!" Ron exclaimed.

"It smells like garlic." Fred looked disgusted.

"I know! It smells delightful. I'm starving." Charlie said.

"Ugh…" Fred and George both said.

"Well, let's all get a table." Arthur said. The waiters had to push two tables together in order for the entire family to sit together. Once they were all settled, they ordered their food and began to talk about their first day of vacation.

"Mummy, I think I got sunburned." Ginny told Molly.

"I think you all got sunburned." Molly replied, looking around at the rest of her redheaded children.

"I didn't." Percy said.

"That's because you sat around under an umbrella all day and then refused to do anything at the Fair." Bill told him.

"Bill, be nice. Tomorrow, you are all getting sunscreen." Molly said.

"I wonder why we didn't think of that before." Arthur said.

"Mum, can we go outside?" Fred asked looking a bit peaky.

"Why?" Molly asked suspiciously.

"We really, really, _really_ don't like this smell." George said.

"It's giving us a headache." Fred said.

"Are you two nuts? It smells great in here!" Ron told the twins.

"No…no it doesn't." George said.

"Oh dear, I forgot that you two don't like garlic." Molly said.

"Maybe Fred and George are vampires." Charlie joked.

Bill gasped. "I _knew_ they were adopted!"

"Ugh…this smell is horrible!" Fred shouted, causing every eye in the restaurant to turn his way.

"Fred!" Molly hissed. "I'm sorry that you don't like the smell, but this is not how you behave in a restaurant!"

"But I HATE garlic!"

"I know you do Dear, but please try and control yourself."

"Can we please go somewhere else?" George asked weakly.

"Did you just say 'please'?" Percy asked, astonished.

"Boys, we've already ordered. You'll get used to it." Arthur told them.

"Or you could just do this!" Ron said brightly and pulled his shirt up over his nose. Fred and George hesitated to take advice from their little brother, but finally decided to give it a try.

"Oh, I can't wait to see you two try to eat like that." Bill said.

"We'll manage." Fred said from underneath his shirt. George, however, became distracted by something else.

"What's that?" He asked, pointing to an Icee machine.

"I'm not sure." Molly replied.

"Let's go find out!" Arthur said happily. He, Fred, and George leapt up to inspect the Icee maker.

"Erm, excuse me, what does this do?" Arthur asked an employee. The girl looked at him strangely before responding dryly.

"It makes Icee's, sir."

"I see. What exactly is an Icee?" He asked. Without answering, the girl rolled her eyes and went back to work.

"Pull the lever Dad!" Fred said excitedly, clearly over his garlic-discomfort.

"I'm not sure…"

"Come on Dad!" George prompted.

"All right." Arthur pulled the lever and before any of them could do anything, red, slushy ice was all over the floor in front of them. "Oh dear…"

"Arthur, what is going on?" Molly asked firmly, coming over to have a look.

"Er…just a spill Molly Dear."

"Did you ever wonder why these cups are right here beside the machine Arthur?" Molly asked.

"Well, that is a very good point Darling."

"Uh-huh." Molly said as she and Arthur collected paper towels to clean up the mess.

"Wouldn't it be easier with wa-" George began to say "wands", but Arthur quickly placed a firm hand over his mouth.

"Remember where we are George." He said quietly.

"Oh yeah."

After dinner came, Fred and George ate up as if they had completely forgotten their previous discomfort due to excessive amounts of garlic.

"So what are we going to do tomorrow?" Charlie asked.

"Well, we can always go back and enjoy the beach. There is a lighthouse that you can get to by going on a boat that is said to be haunted. I think that could be exciting." Arthur told them.

"Dad, we spend 9 months of our lives at Hogwarts. We see ghosts every day." Bill said softly.

"Well yes, but would you ever want to set foot in the Shrieking Shack?" Arthur asked.

"Depends. How much would you pay me?" Bill joked.

"Well, that's the kind of haunted I'm talking about. Not your everyday friendly ghost."

"Sounds fun." Charlie said.

"I want to go!" Ron announced.

"Me too!" Fred and George shouted at the same time.

"Well, the boat leaves around 6:00 in the evening I believe, so we'll have some time during the day to enjoy ourselves."

"We can go gift shopping!" Ginny said excitedly.

"That sounds like an idea I'm up for!" Molly agreed.

Every male voice muttered something that sounded very much like, "Women."

Back at the hotel, the sunburned family made a dash for the showers.

"Ladies first!" Ginny called.

"That's not fair!" Ron protested.

"Yes it is!"

"Come on Ginny, we'll take our showers in the other room." With that, Molly and Ginny left the men to fight over the bathroom.

"OK my dear younger siblings, age before beauty…Well, age before the rest of you anyways!" Bill called.

"Are you implying that we are not beautiful?" George asked.

"No…" Bill lied.

"Just you wait Bill…just you wait." Fred said.

"What does that mean?" Bill asked.

"You'll see." Fred and George replied. With that they turned and wandered around the room until they came to a stopping point at the radio/clock on the table that separated the beds.

"Buttons." George noted.

"I like buttons." Fred said.

"Let's push 'em!" George exclaimed. Music began blaring, turning every head toward the direction of the twins.

"Turn that down!" Percy shouted. Fred and George ignored him and continued to surf through the numerous stations. Finally, they came across a station which was a playing a song that caught the twins' attention.

"Too much clap clap time on my hands and it's tickin' away with my sanity. I've got too much clap clap time on my hands it's hard to believe such a calamity…"

"Ooh." George said.

"I'm intrigued." Fred commented.

"Fred, George, please…turn that down." Arthur requested, but the twins shushed him.

"Where in Merlin's name did you learn a word like 'intrigued'?" Charlie asked, only to be ignored.

"Isn't this some Muggle band?" Bill asked, emerging from the restroom.

"Well, considering this is a Muggle radio, I would assume so." Percy responded somewhat sarcastically. Bill stared at Percy blankly for a moment before punching him in the arm.

"What does intrigued mean?" Ron asked.

"It means to be interested. Where _did_ you learn that, Fred?" Arthur asked.

"George." He replied.

"George? Where did you learn it then?"

"Fred." George answered. Both twins were still staring at the radio as though in a trance. As soon as the song ended, they both cried, "NO!"

"Play it again!" Fred yelled at the radio. In one swift motion, George ran to his father, grabbed his wand, and smacked the radio as hard as he could with the wand.

"George, NO! Give me that." Arthur snatched up his wand.

"What on EARTH is going on in here?" Molly came bursting in through the door that separated the rooms.

"It stopped playing the song!" Fred and George cried as one.

"What song?" Ginny asked, her red hair still dripping. Fred and George looked at each other, the burst into song.

"I've got too much clap clap time on my hands and it's tickin' away with my sanity…"

As they continued, Charlie asked, "How do they memorize this stuff?"

"It could have something to do with the time you dropped them on their heads." Bill responded.

"Must you continue to bring that up?"

"As long as it annoys you, little brother."

"Make them stop!" Ron yelled, and covered his ears with his hands.

"Fred, George, that's enough!" Molly said loudly. Fred and George, at the same time, took deep breaths and cried out,

"My turn for the bathroom!" In the blink of an eye they were gone.

"Quick! Let's change rooms and not tell them!" Bill joked.

"I'm in!" Charlie agreed as they made a break for the door.

"Stop it you two." Molly warned.

"But Mum, it would be so much nicer…" Bill said wistfully.

"It really would be!" Ron piped up adorably.

"No! I like them!" Ginny said.

"Why?" Her older bothers all asked at the same time.

"Because." Ginny stated.

"Because…?" Ron asked.

"They make me laugh."

"Oh Gin-Gin, we can make you laugh! Watch!" Bill told her as he smacked Percy across the back of the head.

"Ow!" Ginny laughed.

"See, you don't need them!"

"William, do NOT hit your brothers." Molly scolded. "Percy, are you alright, Dear?"

"I'm fine." He said wearily.

"Well, if anyone needs to use the other shower, they may." Molly said.

"Mine!" Bill and Charlie yelled, both scrambling for the door.

"First born, first bathed, little brother!"

"I think not!"

"I think so. Anyway, I really need to wash all the sand out of my hair!"

"Well so do I!"

"But my hair is longer than yours. It needs more attention!"

"That just proves that you're a girl. Besides, you were in the water more than I was today because you're a bad surfer!"

"I thought you said you wished that your hair looked good long!"

The remainder of the Weasleys listened to the boys' bickering through the wall.

"I can't believe they're arguing about their hair." Ron commented, deeply amused.

"I think I'm having a revelation as to why Fred and George are the way they are. They spend too much time with those two." Molly muttered.

Eventually will be continued…Please review if you feel inclined to do so! Thanks for reading! 


	6. A Pirates Life for Me

After enduring another night much like the first, the Weasleys departed the hotel once again.

"So, what are we gonna do today?" Bill asked.

"Well, I saw a place yesterday where people can go out on boats and watch dolphins." Molly told the family as they drove along. She was clearly not keen on reliving another afternoon desperately trying to keep up with her 8-year-old son.

"Sounds awesome." Charlie grinned.

"I love dolphins!" Little Ginny squealed with delight.

"Let's go!" Ron smiled.

"Yay! We can play pirates!" Fred cried happily.

"No pirates Fred." Molly warned.

"I heard some chap in the hotel talking somewhere where there are horses available and tourist can horseback ride along the beach." Arthur said.

"Yay! We can play outlaws!" George exclaimed.

"No! No outlaws!" Molly told him.

"I'm allergic to horsehair." Percy muttered.

"Or, we could always go to the zoo. I saw a sign for one not too far back." Molly offered.

"Wait a moment, hold on. All these suggestions sound like stuff Charlie would like." Bill said.

"They're suggestions that the whole family will enjoy _together_, William." Molly snapped. She still hadn't quite forgiven her eldest sons for not watching the twins properly the day before.

"Well, we're close to the docks. Let's go see when the dolphin spotting boat departs." Arthur said.

Thirty minutes later, all 9 Weasleys were piled onto a boat. On the boat, there was a small pool filled with live marine creatures for visitors to observe and even hold.

"Come on Perce, take a look." Charlie said as he picked Ginny up so she could have a closer look.

"No thank you." Percy looked as though the thought of touching wet little creatures positively appalled him.

"I like this guy." Bill said, stroking a small stingray that was happily gliding through the water.

"Bill! I wanna see!" Ron said, reaching his arms up to his oldest brother.

"Ok Ron, here we go." Bill said as he lifted Ron off the floor.

"Argh! Let go our slave, ye villain!" Fred and George ran up to Bill, waving sticks (which they had mysteriously obtained) around like swords. Both twins had one eye squeezed shut as though they were missing eyes.

Bill stared blankly at the twins before turning his attention back to the pool.

"Aye! Ye best listen, Matey, or we'll make ya walk the plank!" Fred said.

"I am so scared." Bill told him.

"Aye, as ye should be. The dreaded shark Blacktooth the Fierce lurks in these waters."

"He's eaten uglier sailors than yourself, make no mistake!"

"I'm not your slave." Ron told them.

"Yes you be! You're Ronald the Longnose! Our faithful slave."

"Now let him go so he can swab the deck!"

"And what are your names?" Charlie asked interestedly.

"I be Captain Firehair Frederick of the Spanish Main!"

"And I be Captain Jeering George of the Caribbean."

"Ye two be our first mates! Fishface Bill and Two-Ton Charlie. That be Percy the Wimp. He don't talk much."

"What about me?" Ginny asked.

"You be Fair Ginevra of the Eastern Volcano Islands."

"Okay." Ginny smiled.

"I beg your pardon." Bill said.

"Yes, Matey?"

"Does my face look like a fish to you?"

"Aye, when ye pulls yourself out of bed."

"Don't take it personally."

"I have to admit I find my name a bit insulting as well." Charlie glared at the twins.

"Aye, tis the life of a pirate." Fred said, feigning sadness.

"I do not weigh two tons."

"Ye's broader than most blokes to sail these six seas."

"Seven."

"Ye dare contradict your Captain?" George snarled.

"Oh I'm so sorry. How silly of me to believe there are seven seas. I do hope you'll forgive my stupidity." Charlie said sarcastically.

"We're gonna be seeing some dolphins here in just a sec!" The boat's driver called.

"Tis alright, Matey. Must be the salty sea air. Does crazy things to the mind!" Fred gave what seemed to be a drunken sway, before he and George bolted up to see the dolphins. The rest of the Weasleys followed.

"There she blows!" Fred yelled, his red hair being tousled by the wind.

"Where?" Ron asked.

"I don't know! I just always wanted to say that!" Fred yelled back.

"Look! I see one! I see one!" Ginny cried happily.

"Where?" George asked.

"There!" Ginny pointed. Sure enough, the sleek, graceful, gray dorsal fin of an Atlantic Bottlenose dolphin glinted in the sunlight.

"Look! There's another one!" Charlie pointed.

"And another!"

"Fred, that's a tire."

"Oh. LITTER BUG!" He yelled at no one in particular.

"Oh look! That must be the haunted lighthouse!" Bill pointed to a tall building in the distance.

"Delphin Lighthouse!" The driver called to them. "A young girl once lived around these shores and spent every day of her life down by the beach. After her love, a pirate, was hanged, she cast herself into the sea and was never seen again. However, many claim that her ghost still lingers to this day, searching for the lost soul of her beloved."

Every member of the Weasley family felt shivers run down their spine.

"That's so sad." Ginny whispered.

"I'm glad the ghosts at school have a sense of humor." Charlie muttered.

"Except the Bloody Baron." Bill said.

"Well, he never talks. He just glowers at people as they walk by."

"What a creep. I wish someone would exorcise him."

The Weasleys continued to watch the dolphins for another 30 minutes before the boat docked once again.

"Good bye! Thank you!" Arthur called.

"Best of luck Matey. Beware Blacktooth the Fierce!" Fred and George saulted.

"Same to you, you salty sea dogs!" The driver winked.

"That was great." Charlie said, a huge smile plastered on his freckled face.

"Daddy, let's go ride the horses!" Ginny said.

"Alright. Then we'll stop for some lunch."

The strong smell of horses greeted the Weasleys at the stables.

"Ugh…It smells positively vile out here." Percy wrinkled his nose.

"Welcome!" Called the instructor. "How many?"

"9." Arthur replied.

"Alright, now who here's a first time rider." Everyone except Molly raised their hands.

"Mum? You can ride a horse?" Bill asked.

"Of course. I used to own a horse. She was beautiful. Her name was Mystic." Her children seemed impressed.

"Well then Ma'am, we'll give you an advanced riding horse. The rest of the family will get the more tame horses."

Once every member was mounted on a horse, they set off for a walk on the beach. Molly was an excellent rider and rode ahead of the others.

"Show off." Bill muttered, watching his mother. His back and legs already hurt like crazy, even though his horse was only trotting.

"Come on Bill!" Charlie's horse went cantering past Bill. Bill stared, mouth agape, at Charlie, who was riding with just as much (if not more) ease as Molly. Bill's horse made eye contact with Charlie's and seconds later, was cantering just as fast, much to Bill's displeasure.

"Woah! Oh Merlin…Stop! Too fast! Stop! Ow! This hurts!"

"Woo! Let's go!" Fred called to George as they rode to the beach. "Get out of the way! We need to escape from the horrible bandit Ole' Wild Drake, most notorious robber of Gringotts in six centuries!"

"I'm right behind you!" George called. All of a sudden, he started laughing.

"What?" Fred called.

"Look at those birds!" George giggled, pointing down at the sand. Small birds, no bigger than a few inches, with the tiniest legs anyone had ever seen were running along the beach. Their legs were so small that they did not bend when they moved. Fred started cracking up.

"What did you do?" Molly called back to them upon hearing their laughter. Fred and George were laughing too hard to reply.

"Look! Look – at the – at the-" By Fred and George had tears of laughter streaming down their cheeks and were unable to finish their sentences.

The family gathered around them and stared at them.

"Look." Fred managed through his laughter and pointed at the little birds.

"Sandpipers." Charlie supplied.

"SANDPIPERS!" Fred and George howled with laughter.

Ginny gasped. "Mummy! They're so cute! Can I have one?"

"No, Sweetheart. They belong here on the beach."

"What is so funny about sandpipers?" Bill asked, which caused Fred and George once again to dissolve into a giggling fit.

"I think Fred and George have had too much ocean air." Ron commented cutely.

"I need to go back to school." Percy muttered.

_A/N - Hey everyone! Happy New Year! Hooray for 2006! Graduation year for me! Woo Hoo! Anyway, sorry for the long time it takes me to update. I love all the positive reviews and I can't thank you enough for taking the time to review!_

_I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. I don't personally think it's my best (though I do love the pirate names! Yay Pirates!), but I hope you like it. I base a lot of the Weasleys' experiences in this story off experiences I've had when I've taken trips with my choir or band or gone to the Fair. This chapter was based entirely off things that happened two years ago on a choir trip to Corpus Christi (though sadly we didn't give each other pirate names. We did see sandpipers though and they are just about the cutest birds ever. They made me laugh a lot too). This March, I'm taking two trips to Florida, one with band, and the other for our senior trip. I am very much looking forward to them, especially because I'll have a lot of new ideas for our favorite wizarding family! _

_Next Chapter will be about the Weasley's experience at the haunted Delphin Lighthouse, which is a Lighthouse I made up for a fictional paper in Advanced Composition class last year. The young girl and her pirate boyfriend mentioned in this chapter were in the story too. I felt really sad when I killed them off. I really liked them. Anyway... _

_One more thing: I do NOT own "Too Much Time on my Hands" from the previous chapter. That would be a Styx song. Hooray for Styx! They rock. Thanks for reviewing and I will update as soon as I can! _

_Love, Midnight Paradise_


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